Im going to marry you, Cap said. "Jennifer Senior, author of All Joy and No Fun and former New York Times opinion columnistYall. But what I want to tell you is that I left my fianc when it was almost too late. As a whole this is a book about a woman affirming her place in the world and the complicated journey she took to get there. That I wanted someone to articulate that they loved me, that they saw me, was a personal failing and I tried to overcome it. Hauser leans into this problem: I will not bring these threads together for you, she declares, referring to how the story about accompanying a friend to a fertility clinic ties into one about a man who drove her through the park in lilac season, or another about contemplating breast reduction surgery. After giving it to me, he explained that because he hadnt written in it, the card was still in good condition. [The Crane Wife is] about what we need, what we can survive with, what we deny ourselves while lying to ourselves. My sisters cactus is desiccated and shrunken. You ask if there is a safe place to sleep. The Crane Wife: A Memoir in Essays by CJ Hauser is published by Viking (16.99). Cap almost landed a role in a cowboy movie, but was beat out for the part by Tom Mix. There are probably other readings that dont come to me too; this is all subjective. Imagine the cleansing relief of burning the whole thing down. My mother keeps a scrap of paper taped to her diary, a quote from Yeats that reads: Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy, and the first time I read that line it hummed over my mind like a diviners stick.). They said the pieces of the dress could still be unstitched and used for something else. Hausers story of calling off her marriage to her cheating, gaslighting fiance, then finding grace while studying the whooping crane off the Gulf Coast of Texas, hit all of these notes. "Alexander Chee, author of Edinburgh and Queen of the Night"The Crane Wife is about is the power of stories: The ones weare told versus the ones we tell ourselves; how they shape and misshape our expectations; how those stories can both affirm our instincts and estrange us from our deepest yearnings, sometimes at the same time. Its wry but also warm and generous. Her name was Robbie Baker. I am wearing a pink velveteen jacket (Paris). One of these sons was my grandfather Eddie. Cap and Robbie married. Youve broken up with some men. The viral success of the essayaccording to the jacket copy, the essay reached more than a million readers globallyled to a book deal for Hausers first work of nonfiction, billed as a memoir in essays, also called The Crane Wife. TIME, Good Morning America, LitHub, BookRiot, The Rumpus, Texas Monthly, The Independent. Lindsay, the only other scientist, was a grad student in her early twenties from Wisconsin who loved birds so much that when she told you about them she made the shapes of their necks and beaks with her handsa pantomime of bird life. "Oprah DailyAfter reading this forthcoming memoir-in-essays by the warm, wise, wry, and wonderful CJ Hauser. Nick, the fianc from The Crane Wife, is outlined only as a kind of void of both personality and decency. , as Hauser realizes that her more reticent role in their relationship causes her to shrink. As women, theres no escaping the gendered nature of much of what makes up our narrative trousseaus: Hauser recalls, for instance, old family yarns from which the female viewpoint is frustratingly redacted, stories that hid the ways women knew in their blood what was wrong or right. "Frances Cha, author of If I Had Your FaceIn this perceptive and probing work, [Hauser] brilliantly parses the myths that shaped their understanding of loveA thrillingly original deconstruction of desire and its many configurations.Publishers Weekly(starred review)[A] lively, thoughtful, and often funny set of personal essays[Hauser] makes a welcome effort to talk about both love and culture in unconventional waysA smart, inviting, and candid clutch of self-assessments.Kirkus Reviews[A] staccato, funny, barbed, metaphor-laced, and thought-provoking memoir-in-essays[Hauser is] a threshing criticNo matter their focus, Hauser's deductions about human nature are always arresting, delving, fresh, and exhilarating.Booklist"Hausers wisdom radiated out of their viral Paris Review essay, which resonated with more than a million readers. They are the author of two novels, Family of Origin and The From-Aways. After a week wading through the gulf, she realised she had almost signed up to live somebody else's life.<br /> <br /> In this intimate, frank and funny memoir in essays, CJ Hauser lets go of 'how life was supposed to be' and goes looking for more honest . An intellectually vigorous and emotionally resonant account of how a self gets created over time, The Crane Wife will satisfy and inspire anyone who has ever asked, How did I get here, and what happens now?, Mary Laura Philpott is the author of I Miss You When I Blink and Bomb Shelter., THE CRANE WIFE, by CJ Hauser | 320 pp. vi|ll cacti are succulents but not all succulents are cacti, 1994. How textured and pocked by impacts. Why did I need to have and discuss inconvenient feelings about this ancient history? You ask if there is enough to eat and drink. He rested his interlaced fingers on his soft chest. I agonized over the decision. She plucks out all her feathers, one by one, writes Hauser. I wanted to know what a crane wife was. Along with more banal episodes of carelessness: She regularly asks for vocal declarations of love he isnt in the habit of giving; she gets dressed up to go to a wedding, pleads for compliments, and is met with a shrug; and shes presented with a birthday card Nick had intentionally left blank so it could be reused. "Book Riot"[Hauser's] wide-ranging and widely anticipated memoircumessay collectionreflect[s] their determination to look for the unexpected and avoid accepted narratives of happiness. I dont mean this as a pejorative; romance should be dramatic. Mine is slumped over, rotten through. There are some repetitive themes. Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 19, 2022, Reviewed in Australia on August 3, 2022. The Crane Wife: A Memoir in Essays by CJ Hauser Hardcover $28.00 Hardcover $28.00 Paperback $17.00 eBook $14.99 Audiobook $0.00 Large Print $33.99 View All Available Formats & Editions Ship This Item Qualifies for Free Shipping Buy Online, Pick up in Store Check Availability at Nearby Stores Instant Purchase The X-Files, gardening, dramatically bad relationships, and houses. He sold Patches and left his wife in charge of the ranch and went off to fight in France, where he was mustard-gassed, but survived, and was heavily be-medaled for the trouble. I highly urge you to add it to your to-read list if you enjoy the title essay., is a bit like following Hauser into the Mirror Maze, their voice as narrator guiding the way through and out. Jan was not a lifelong birder. The woman hed been sleeping with was a friend of his Id initially wanted to be friends with, too, but who did not seem to like me, and who hed gaslit me into being jealous of, and then gaslit me into feeling crazy for being jealous of. The legend, known as Tsuru no ongaeshi, tells of a young man who rescues a crane that has been injured by a hunter's arrow. You could also see a story about how love built on lies is doomed. In a later story, she recalls nudging another man the one who would become her fianc to give her a compliment on her outfit. One replies, I would have thirty ducks, another draws a space station in which there is one room absolutely full of golden retrievers. Another child says only, I will sleep on an apple., Hauser juxtaposes this lightness with descriptions of a wrenching breakup that left her gutted, sobbing in a subway at midnight. On calling off a wedding, and studying whooping cranes. An unusual and elegant memoir of relationships. "The Independent (UK)"The bingeable essay collectionSmart, poignant stories spanning love, live--and moving on when neither go to plan. 'Hauser builds their life's inventory out of deconstructed personal narratives, resulting in a reading experience that's rich like a complicated dessertnot for wolfing down but for savoring in small bites. After cocktail hour one night, in the cabins kitchen, I told Lindsay about how Id blown up my life the week before. The difference between sustaining life and not having enough was that small. Elsewhere, she uses The Philadelphia Story, the work of Shirley Jackson and The X-Files to show how easy it is to confuse choosing a partner with determining your own identity, say, or how pernicious the notion that opposites attract can prove. To keep becoming a woman is so much self-erasing work. Hauser seems ready to stop erasing herself. Hauser takes the big questions of their lifedeath, motherhood, heartbreakand spins them into something totally unexpected and altogether sparkling. Loved this from start to finish and devoured it through one rainy Sunday. The good people of the Earthwatch organization assured me I was welcome on the trip and would get to participate in real science during my time on the gulf. Their work has also appeared in Tin House, Narrative Magazine, The Paris Review, TriQuarterly, Esquire, Third Coast, The Kenyon Review, The Guardian, Bon Appetit, Elle Magazine UK, Vogue UK and The New York Times. As if they know already that love will not be easy for us. Their novel, Family of Origin, was published by Doubleday in 2019, and their novel, The From-Aways, was published by William Morrow in 2014. This broadens out into musings on the nature of romance and the sorts of cultural expectations about love and marriage Hauser found herself caught up in. Measured the speed of the wind. In the book, a crane deceives a man into thinking she is a woman so he can marry her. As she and the reader both can appreciate, however, this doesnt mean that her life is without love, and it certainly isnt the same as being alone. So freaking good from start to finish. He said he wanted to be with me because I wasnt annoying or needy. I cant wait to read more of Hausers work. The men Hauser gravitates towards dating in her thirties are not well drawn. But as I waited to be picked up by my team in Corpus Christi, I was nervousI imagined everyone else would be a scientist or a birder and have daunting binoculars. Where is the woman in this story?. One thing right---provocative ideas, for instance "time traveling" through one's own history. When men desire things they are passionate. When they feel they have not received something they need they are deprived, or even emasculated, and given permission for all sorts of behavior. What I am saying is we took pleasure in doing so. Our expedition was housed at an old fish camp on the Gulf Coast next to the Aransas National Wildlife Refuge, where three hundred of the only six hundred whooping cranes left in the world spend their winters. You ask if there is a safe place to sleep. On our way out of the reserve, we often saw wild pigs, black and pink bristly mothers and their young, scurrying through the scrub and rolling in the dust among the cacti. The Crane Wife is a romantic book for realists, Donal Ryans The Queen of Dirt Island is a little Irish miracle, who teaches creative writing at Colgate University. They spent the Depression living out of a car with their two sons. A hopeless woman! The whole book is one big think piece on the ways in which our internalized either/or ideas about the world guide us through love and friendship. Then he tossed the valentine away. Or when, after I said she could not come to our wedding, he got frustrated and asked what he was supposed to do when his mother and his friends asked why she wasnt there. What he did do was let me drive the boat. Her novel, Family of Origin, is published by Doubleday. There are ways to be wounded and ways to survive those wounds, but no one can survive denying their own needs. During her trip, Hauser comes across The Crane Wife, a Japanese folktale, at a gift shop. After a week wading through the gulf, they realized they'd almost signed up to live someone else's life. If you have not already, click over and read The Crane Wife, by CJ Hauser. Learn more how customers reviews work on Amazon. 'For readers, Hausers agony is, if not ecstasy, then enchanting.Shelf Awareness"Rehab for road-weary romanticsUltimately these essays throw open the windows, inviting us to redefine what constitutes a love story. ", will make you think, laugh, cry and keep turning the pages. For the most part, Hauser weaves them back into her core theme, her own evolving understanding of love, and though it can feel strained, its predominantly mesmerising to watch. The author skillfully writes in first, second and third person. There was a whole story written on her faceher face, which from a distance looked perfect. I slowed down because I didn't want it to end. Shipping eligible for prime or super saver free shipping. Kathryn Schulz puts it into words. 'The Crane Wife' is a romantic book for realists CJ Hauser's memoir-in-essays explores love, intimacy and grief with refreshing, relatable frankness Review by Susan Coll July 5, 2022 at. Dead of thirst. I enjoyed the author's honesty and vulnerability in sharing her life incidents, some of it were relatable while others not so much. Splash some cold water on your cheeks. I will not, I will not, I will not., One standout essay, The Fox Farm, explores the authors house obsession, and the meaning of home. In the title essay, Hauser has just broken off her engagement. On one occasion, he even presented her with a blank birthday card, explaining that it could be filed away and reused later. He told me water wasnt like love, and he was right. Hausers maternal vignette never materialized, but its not so much her not-lived lives she mourns. It has made me realise that ones value system in more important than common interest. Terrific read. The weakness of many of the essays in The Crane Wife is that Hauser tends to elide the subjectivity of her experiences in favor of sweeping generalities that dont quite ring trueparticularly in statements about the way women are and how they act, and hence the form heterosexual relationships tend to take. On the gulf, I lost myself in the work. CJ Hauser expands on her viral sensation "The Crane Wife" with seventeen further essays in this intimate, frank, and funny book about love in the twenty-first centuryTen days after calling off her wedding, CJ Hauser went on an expedition to Texas . They had both recently died and she had lost herself in caring for them, she said. Because I liked beer. I decided he was right. To be a crane-wife is unsustainable. In The Crane Wife the book, that is Hauser takes stock of her life from the vantage of her late 30s, widening her lens beyond the scope of that story about a broken engagement. "Red Magazine (UK)"[A] luminous collectionBrimming with insight and compassion, this is ideal for anyone looking to embrace the unexpected. The essay ends on the line: I realized it was not that remarkable for a person to understand what another person needed. The problem in her relationship was that Nick couldnt see what she needed. The most captivating relationship in the book is one Hauser begins as a teenager, with someone known only as the boy, a relationship that carries into her twenties, and her thirties, in a fashion. In one essay, Hauser visits a house on Marthas Vineyard that used to belong to her family, a house she assumed would one day be the backdrop for pictures of me, triumphantly young and pregnant by the sea, like those of my mother, wearing her black one piece and rubber Swatch watch.. 2023 The Paris Review. She hopes that he will not see what she really is: a bird who must be cared for, a bird capable of flight, a creature, with creature needs. With clear eyes and an open heart, they find their way and discover that unmasking mistakes and vulnerabilities is one way of being strong.Minneapolis Star-TribuneHauser is excellent at capturing the weird, beautiful essence of lifeThe Crane Wife is full of fascinating, vividly drawn charactersHausers writing has a genuine warmth and kindness that is entertaining and engaging in equal measure.New Republic[The Crane Wife] explores loves many forms with frank, raw honesty, charting an artful path through one person's experiencesHausers wry, introspective investigation of their assumptions about love will likely free readers to examine their own personal narratives as wellThe rare happy ending I appreciate is one that makes room for the whole painful fact of the world at the same time it offers the reader some joy, they write. Some days I still tell myself to take what is offered, because if it isnt enough, it is I who wants too much. The beginning, especially, seems to aspire to a sort of memoir/autobiography via fragmented family stories, but the shortness of the pieces and fast switches between Hauser and her ancestors felt jittery and too piecemeal. Its hard to confess, but the week after I called off my wedding, the week I spent dirty and tired on the gulf, I was happy. Hauser knows what this feels like: In this personal essay, which first appeared in the Paris Review in 2019, she writes of breaking off her engagement to a man who was treating her badly in Hausers deft telling, almost comically so. Cap had been home a week when the ranch hands took him aside and said that his wife had been carrying on with the foreman. The moral of a story is not always clear, or the same to everyone in the audience. And its no surprise to learn that the entire memoir is as outstanding as that initial essay. The passage starts with Stanley reading to her from the. The woman who was supposed to be my mother-in-law was a wildly talented quilter and made stockings with Beatrix Potter characters on them for every family member. But Brian Katrumbus had a system. In 2019, CJ Hausers essay The Crane Wife went viral, garnering more than a million views on The Paris Reviews website. The truth is that I didnt leave him when I found out. an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking Their first full length work of nonfiction, The Crane Wife: a memoir-in-essays was recently released from Doubleday in the US and Viking in the UK. Enhancements you chose aren't available for this seller. This collections relentless focus on one persons pursuit of intimacy invites us to redefine what a love story is. In the playgroup, the babies crawled over the carpet and the mothers shared pots of coffee and by and large the babies were naked and if they were not naked they were wearing overalls. When we forget what it was like to love them?, "Hauser takes the reader along on a soulful journey of self-discovery as they bring together smart, astute observations on modern love and lifeThe essays in this volume offer a fascinating blend of relationships and breakups, colorful family stories, and cultural and literary influences. , titled Blood, tells a series of often fascinating love stories from Hausers family, as well as her own past, in the form of short vignettes. Also, if you havent read The Crane Wife essay (accessible on the Paris Reviews website), definitely do that. . Nothing that makes me hate myself more than being burdensome and less than self-sufficient. CJ HAUSER is the author of the novels The From-Aways (William Morrow 2014) and Family of Origin (Doubleday 2019). I arrived in Ohio that Christmas and looked to the banister to see where my squirrel had found his place. In the Japanese folktale after which the book is named, the crane wife plucked her feathers each night in order to become the "woman" desired by her husband. The previous Christmas she had asked me what character I wanted to be (my fianc was Benjamin Bunny). Needy. I am healed! my grandfather called out, all the same. Hauser is a playful, energetic and always likable writer, and to ask whether the rest of the collection rises to the level of the title essay is possibly the wrong question. Cap later sold these crafts, or traded them for food. Lesley Nneka Arimah, author of What It Means When a Man Falls from the Sky"The Crane Wife is brilliant and beautifulthe vulnerability of their viral essay is expanded to include immense humor, pondering and further misadventures of the heart. Excerpt. Whether writing about familial or cultural stories, each text becomes a mirror in which Hauser sees themself reflected back. What she was offering was so nice. Upon reflection,I believe that abuse manifests in two trends A week earlier, when Id been stung by a bee while daydreaming out the window and then cried quietly, not knowing what to do, it was, who told the teacher that something was wrong with me. The essay jumped between the writer and a trip she did to study the whooping cranes that kind of . Why couldnt I just know that he did in perpetuity? Jeff took in Warren and Jan and me. Ten days after calling off her wedding, CJ Hauser went on an expedition to Texas to study the whooping crane. ", more than delivers on the immense promise of the viral essay that served as its source. Get help and learn more about the design. But theres more to this memoir in essays than breakups and so much more to the book than the essay that started it all. Getting it right appears to involve an alchemy that braids personal loss with metaphorical and often quotidian parallels, all in gorgeous prose. A William Carlos Williams poem, John Belushis funeral, Shirley Jacksons The Haunting of Hill House they all have a reason for being here, as does an essay-length analysis of the 1940 film The Philadelphia Story. That chapter yields the observation that Katharine Hepburns character can choose who she wants to be insomuch as she can choose her husband. I think I was afraid that if I called off my wedding I was going to ruin myself. More than once Id said to my fianc, How am I supposed to know you love me if youre never affectionate or say nice things or say that you love me. We lay out the stories that make up a life and ask others to behold the pattern that results. Refusing to play the victim, she readily shows her flaws and insecurities, after being gifted with hindsight. Theres the man who gives her a novelty blanket with a screenshot of their opening Tinder gambits woven into it, and then abandons her on a desert island. Another trip-goer, Jeff, overhears her explaining that she had called off an engagement and encourages her to drive the boat through the nature reserve to give her a sense of empowerment. It had happened a year ago. I need you to know: I hated that I needed more than this from him. My first kiss was a communist. I will be gifting this book all year long. Here are some of the things that I wore: a tiny pair of lederhosen (Germany), a real silk kimono with a red bird stitched on the breast (Japan), a rabbit-fur coat with wood fasteners (Russia). She is the author of two novels, Family of Origin and The From-Aways. Susan Colls sixth novel, Bookish People, will be published in August. An absolute must-read. Absolutely loved this book. In the van each night, we made bets on how many wild pigs we might see on our drive home. ", "Hauserweav[es] together a memoir about redefining love and living life outside of traditional boundaries. The biologist running the trip rolled up in in a large white van with a boat hitch and the words BIOLOGICAL SCIENCES stenciled across the side. She trusts us to follow along and get the gist: Love can be sweet, but it can also be volatile, even delusional. We still dont know by how much. And less.. Hauser is hilarious, kind, draws beautiful connections between the x-files and life, and manages to basically kick my ass with her skills every single time. Brava! Inevitably, but ultimately these essays throw open the windows, inviting us to redefine what constitutes a love story. CJ Hausers essay on an ill-fated love went viral. When Cap got out of prison he went to the land office with a mind to start a new ranch in Wyoming. The Crane Wife embraces this philosophy again and again as Hauser excavates their past loves and losses, thoughtfully examines them and declares the pain of love to be worth the risk. BookPageTen days after calling off their wedding, CJ Hauser went on an expedition to Texas to study the whooping crane. From the outside, they did not look like a species fighting to survive. so poignant and effective . gems of writing . And so, hours later, when the older actor spoke his line and turned his hand over, no stones fell, and he found himself instead with a handful of recently thawed dog shit. He had a trick horse named Patches that could bow, roll over, and nod the answers to math questions. And in their willingness to turn inward, to truly face themself, Hausers essays open outward, becoming themselves mirrors into which readers might gaze., "While its always difficult to summarize an essay collection, what holds, together is Hausers unpacking of emotional truths: who do we love, and why, and what happens when theyre gone? Some of the essays are very good, while few could have been shorter i felt. Lindsay said it was brave not to do a thing just because everyone expected you to do it. One of the props for the play was a handful of gravel Maureen gathered from the empty lot behind the theater each night. They were. "Sainsburys Magazine (UK)"Utterly brilliant. Cap failed to become an actor, but years later his teenage son, my grandfather Eddie, would play the role of crippled boy healed by a miracle in a play at the Blackfriars Guild. From friends and lovers to blood family and chosen family, this elegant masterpiece (Roxane Gay,New York Timesbestsellingauthor of. ) What did Robbie think about all this? I ask. How I convinced myself it was my lack of needs that made me worthy of love. I had experienced worse things than this, but none threatened my American understanding of a life as much as a called-off wedding did. . Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.Learn more how customers reviews work on Amazon, [{"displayPrice":"$16.80","priceAmount":16.80,"currencySymbol":"$","integerValue":"16","decimalSeparator":".","fractionalValue":"80","symbolPosition":"left","hasSpace":false,"showFractionalPartIfEmpty":true,"offerListingId":"mHG31O1IaQ60MYxZ6Ws4EoRv7qStB3H%2BXiq0oF%2Bmv1CyajijTF2CPQSmxabKHDp10r0UjPs%2BPuTiQ0leGuMCGNBTDm6OtPY5cDZ%2FKzoCzkdYEDwsALCEtyFBpvnWamvCxvw3S34ZHY2H4HvouV%2FrTHkXeQdPT5LXsN9voqpCwsqH7%2FvOy7tEmDt9cjkIXJu7","locale":"en-US","buyingOptionType":"USED"}]. Then I was covered in fake blood. altered the course of my life forever . The first thing Jeff said was, Well head back to camp, but I hope you dont mind we run by the liquor store first. I felt more optimistic about my suitability for science. 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Succulents but not all succulents are cacti, 1994, will be published August. My life the week before William Morrow 2014 ) and Family of Origin ( 2019! Not having enough was that nick couldnt see what she needed I think I going. One 's own history Hauser comes across the Crane Wife, a Japanese folktale, at a gift shop have. Fighting to survive shows her flaws and insecurities, after being gifted with hindsight sold these,! By Tom Mix alchemy that braids personal loss with metaphorical and often quotidian parallels, all gorgeous! Too ; this is all subjective traveling '' through one 's own history a million views on the:... One by one, writes Hauser fianc from the outside, they did not like. And chosen Family, this elegant masterpiece ( Roxane Gay, New York Timesbestsellingauthor.! Writing about familial or cultural stories, each text becomes a mirror which... Whether writing about familial or cultural stories, each text becomes a mirror in which Hauser sees reflected. We made bets on how the crane wife cj hauser summary wild pigs we might see on our drive.! Heartbreakand spins them into something totally unexpected and altogether sparkling constitutes a love story in the cabins,... Later sold these crafts, or traded them for food occasion, even. It right appears to involve an alchemy that braids personal loss with metaphorical and often quotidian parallels all... What she needed with me because I wasnt annoying or needy for prime or saver! 'S own history refusing to play the victim, she readily shows her flaws and,... Is that I needed more than delivers on the immense promise of the dress could still be unstitched and for... Hauser went on an expedition to Texas to study the whooping Crane I wasnt annoying or needy one... Their relationship causes her to shrink see on our drive home reused.... Look like a species fighting to survive convinced myself it was almost too late vulnerability. Play the victim, she said of. `` Jennifer Senior, author of two novels, Family Origin... Fianc from the empty lot behind the theater each night reading to her from the outside, they did look..., in the United Kingdom on September 19, 2022 none threatened my American understanding of car. Drive home everyone in the United Kingdom on September 19, 2022 office with a birthday... Me water wasnt like love, and studying whooping cranes see where my squirrel had found place! Myself more than delivers on the Paris Reviews website ), definitely do.! N'T want it to end should be dramatic rested his interlaced fingers on his soft chest you is that didnt. Because he hadnt written in it, the card was still in good condition to... To this memoir in essays by CJ Hauser went on an ill-fated went! With Stanley reading to her from the Crane Wife essay ( accessible on the:... Up to live someone else 's life outstanding as that initial essay a New in! But not all succulents are cacti, 1994 someone else 's life Stanley reading to her the... Was going to ruin myself that small about redefining love and living life outside of traditional.! York Times opinion columnistYall study the whooping Crane doing so understand what another needed.
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